Grief in the garden
My garden is a complete mess. It started out ok, but very shortly after getting things ready for transplanting outside in late May, my father became very ill and died within a week. I had to take a trip to New Mexico during the time that I would have been planting things, and upon my arrival home, my veggie plot had become OVERRUN by datura seedlings - which I can not get rid of for anything. I’ve been completely unmotivated to do anything in my garden, which is quite odd for me, as that is normally a place I go to escape an unsettled mind, but for whatever reason, I am completely overwhelmed and uninspired.
Recently, I’ve thought about making a little tribute area to my dad in my garden. That idea is helping me to be a bit more excited about tackling that crazy situation in my back yard. My dad wasn’t into plants at all, and so planting a special flower or veggie isn’t really what I want to do. Being a librarian, I found a book called “A garden of Love & Healing” by Marsha Olson (who is both a grief counselor and a garden designer) which has some nice ideas. Included in the book is a list from the “Victorian Language of Flowers” of flowers and what they have been known to symbolize. This helped me to decide that what I will do is create an area that has flowers/plants that represent certain traits or characteristics that my dad had. It will be both fun and sad, but I am looking forward to it. One problem I am having, though, is finding a flower that symbolizes stubbornness…

June 10th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Christina,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. What a lovely way to remember your Dad; even though he wan’t a gardener, I’m sure he would appreciate the sentiment.
Good luck and best wishes,
Shawna
June 10th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
I can completely understand why you are uninspired and overwhelmed. You’ve just been hit with a lot and there is an association with planting season and your loss. Take it easy on yourself.
Your dad may not have been a gardener but you are… a tribute area makes perfect sense as a way to express your memories of him.
As for a plant to represent stubborness I would just go with a plant that you like that represents that trait to you.
June 10th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Christina I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope that having an area of your garden dedicated to his memory will help you heal. I know it’s totally not the same thing but we’ve done a memorial garden for our lost pets and it’s provided a great deal of comfort to us. May you find peace in your green space.
June 10th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
I’m sorry about your dad. That’s very hard - I have been through that myself. Are daturas very awful plants? I don’t know what they are. But sounds like they’re being pretty stubborn out there already.
June 11th, 2006 at 11:08 pm
I am sorry for the loss of your father. When I think of stubborn I think dandelions but those are just pretty weeds.
June 11th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
aloha, your heart spoke to mine and what comes up for me to share is pause and the answer will come to you. you will hear exactly what to do and plant. we just have to pause sometimes and then there is clarity. In peace, anita
June 12th, 2006 at 9:24 am
Christina,
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. My father was stubborn, too. Maybe you want to look at your father’s stubborness a little closer. It could be a sign of another trait: perserverance or consistency, steadfastness or a proud spirit, constancy, etc. I’m stubborn and like to think of it as the sign of a strong character :)
Best wishes.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Stubborness: Seems to me, that datura fills the bill.
How about a prickly pear cactus? Will grow and bloom in zone five Michigan. And that is certainly stubborn.
An idea, anyway… Maybe thinking about this plant will lead you to one you like (or like better.)