I am ashamed. I am a plant professional, and plant teacher, and I am ashamed of my own houseplants. A boy I was seeing commented about our potential future together, “well, for one thing I couldn’t live here with all these half-dead houseplants.” Now, I didn’t ask him to move in– he was just imagining down the road– I mean, years down the road. I was taken aback (in a good way) at his even suggesting cohabitation. Nonetheless, I felt this terrible sense of shame, and in a flustered display came up with many excuses. I just bought a house and moved in, and the plants sort of took it hard. Now, a bonus of the new house is built-in plant shelves on multiple windows (a selling point, indeed), but, alas, with the chaos this fall of buying a house and moving, they were admittedly not given the proper attention, or repotting. So, it’s true, some are fairly sad– adjusting to the winter dry heat, after enjoying humidity outside all summer. There are always a few casualties in early winter. So, I’m not saying one little green life is more valuable that others– but, the ones that usually go are Chlorophytum comosom– your standard spider plant, and I don’t mourn for long, especially as the vegetative offspring are already rooting in water.

Speaking on plant mortality, I do still mourn the loss of Maude. Maude was the one house plant I ever named (after Maude from the movie Harold & Maude), and she was a beautiful jade. I took her on road trips, and she stood by me in hard times– but she finally got the (for jades) seemingly inevitable– that terrible stem rot that so often ends in a mushy good-bye from the plant hospice. And it did, and I still miss her, and haven’t brought another jade into my life.

But, I’m going to redeem myself, and my little green guys. To give them an extra treat, I’ve vowed to shower with a different one every day. They love the burst of humidity in my not-well-ventilated WC. And, I special ordered fancy potting mix and am going to do a much-needed repotting. Finally, I’m going to bring the little green guys some new love– at my housewarming next week, I’ve asked people to bring a cutting from their favorite little green guy. I can’t wait to see what people bring!

…