Repurposed for the Garden: Critter Keeper Offer (aka Tie a Bag Around It)

Kangaroo apple (Solanum laciniatum) is one in a long line of marginally edible foods that I have been experimenting with in the garden. The fruits are considered poisonous when green and unripe, and edible when they turn orange.

That hasn’t stopped the squirrels. As I waited patiently for the fruit to ripen so I could have my first taste, the squirrels got there ahead of me and stole their fill while the fruit was still green, rock hard, and supposedly poisonous. Not only did it not kill them or give them so much as a tummy ache, they probably liked this plant more than any other treat in the garden. Proving once again that the squirrels are superior beings that will be roaming the earth harassing and poaching from some other more evolved humanoid-type creature in the distant future once the aliens have come in the name of interplanetary peace but then accidentally reveal their true intention to farm us for food, which leads to a terrible and epic battle for the lives of all humankind.

Spoiler: We do not win. Squirrels survive on the planet for another 50 million years.

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Those Squirrels Sure Showed Me

On the bright side, none of the clothespins had been tampered with. The problem was that I had run out of foraged-from-the yard clothespins and figured I could just tuck the back in against the wall. I’m laughing at myself now as I write this. It’s as if I am new to this here gardening thing and didn’t just spend well over a decade trying to thwart the efforts of squirrels.

Tucking it in against the wall… PLEASE with that lazy, naive ridiculousness.

Lesson learned. Again. I’m now employing buffalo clips to hold down the remaining sides. Take THAT squirrels! I’m an adult human with opposable thumbs and even I have a difficult time operating buffalo clips. I’d like to see them work their way around that business.
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Repurposed for the Garden: We Recycle!

I’ve taken the message on the side of this recycling bin quite literally and am recycling it by turning it into a salad greens garden.

This house came chock-a-block full of junk, especially the backyard. Not that I’m complaining — we’ve found new uses for a great deal of the items and have saved some money in the process.

First up are the recycling bins: there were several, but we have no traditional use for them as living in a house means we are able to keep a large-sized recycling bin that suits most of our recycling needs. It was practically impossible to keep one recycling bin for any length of time while living in an apartment — someone was always stealing them off of the curb! And now, here, we have too many. Go figure.

Fortunately, recycling bins make great planters, if you can get past the ugly. We’re still in a yard renovation holding pattern as we now realize that a tiller is required if we’re going to manage the back breaking work of levelling it out. I originally thought we could do the work by hand because I’m not a big fan of tillers and may have also been overly optimistic when the snow was still on the ground, and the backyard garden was just a dream. Levelling out a bumpy, slopped garden requires time, something I don’t have right now as we are in a crunch to layout book #3 (due out in Spring 2012!). I also have some stray photos to take. As a result, I can’t get my raised beds in place, which means I can’t plant spring greens or peas. GAH! One of our big goals this year is to become completely self-sufficient in salad fixings. Starting next month (or so), I don’t want to buy a single head of lettuce ever again, if I can help it. This should be easy enough to achieve over the long term as I intend to dedicate a rather large bed to greens alone. So exciting! Obviously, this goal is unachievable if I can’t plant….
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Launching a Campaign Against the Legion of Cats

One of the unforeseen negatives we inherited with the new house is a Legion of Cats who have taken up residence in the yard. They’re not strays, just neighbourhood cats that have decided that since no one else was using it, the’d make the yard their playground. And so they’ve made themselves very comfortable back there: basking in the sun, scratching in the dirt, and pooing all over the place.

Hey, I love cats. I have a 16 year old furry baby of my own. What I do not love is cat poo co-mingling with my food. It’s not just gross, it’s also unsafe.

You know who else loves our yard: squirrels. I like squirrels. I really do. That one squirrel we had on the roof garden was bad enough. So far I’ve counted 4 different squirrels visiting the backyard. It’s like there is one cat for every squirrel. Aren’t cats and squirrels supposed to be mortal enemies? Shouldn’t we have one or the other ravaging the yard, not both, and surely not both AT THE SAME TIME? It’s like the cover of a Watchtower pamphlet back there. Predator and prey cavorting together in a Utopian land. This is not right.

So I’ve taken it upon myself to launch a campaign against the Legion of Cats and their squirrel familiars. Step one is to give the unmistakable impression that there is a new creature in the yard who does not abide by their antics. I run out there several times a day, arms flailing and my voice raised. So far they get skittish when they see me in the window and they run when the back door opens. Unfortunately, they always come back. I can’t say yet whether or not the strategy is working but I’m keeping at it and have until spring to establish some kind of boundary. The problem is, we are die hard cat lovers and I think they are starting to see through my ruse.

I’ve dealt with cats (and squirrels) a few times over the years, but every cat is different. What works for one doesn’t always work for others. I know how to keep them out of particular spots, but what I’d like to achieve ultimately is to get them out of the garden entirely.

I’d send my cat out there to establish dominance but she’s having none of it. She thinks she’s a human and finds these new creatures fascinating and very intimidating.

Other Options:

  • Super Soaker: I don’t want to hurt the cats. I just want them to think of our yard as inhospitable. Most cats hate water.
  • Water Scarecrow: Like the super soaker, but there when I’m not.Meighan had success with this one. The only negative is that there will be plants in the garden that I’d rather didn’t get sprayed. I also wonder about having the hose hooked up to it all day long.
  • Coyote Urine: The trouble here is that I also have a cat and would like her to have the chance to enjoy the backyard. If it scares off other animals, it will surely scare her, too.

Have you had any successes keeping cats and squirrels out of your garden?

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Your Questions Answered: Tomato Thieves

Question: We always love your articles and website. Keep it up!!

In this past weekend article on tomatoes, you didn’t answer the burning question: what did your brother do about the squirrels??????? They have already chomped the small tomatoes that were forming on our one plant and I know they are just waiting for more. The plant is doing very well, is covered in blossoms, but the furry thieves are lurking and watching. I have thought of making a chicken wire cocoon to go over the plant, but I wondered if you had any other suggestions. Lots of wildlife in the centre of the city!

- Virginia

Answer: Hi Virginia,

The quick answer is nothing. He did nothing, and consequently only managed to get a taste of a single homegrown tomato. On the flip side, he did say it was the best tomato he’d ever tasted in his life and it has made him eager to try again this year, but with some kind of security measure in place.

When it comes to dealing with mammalian critters I find that there are no hard and fast solutions. Cities are not the lifeless concrete jungles we’ve made them out to be, which is a very good thing. I appreciate the surprise and awe that comes from discovering a bit of wildlife up on my third floor roof in the sky, even if it means we have to share space and an inevitable loss of food. However, I will admit that it is easier to take this generous attitude in June when my tomatoes haven’t yet begun to produce. I’ll be shaking my fists and raging come July when half-eaten tomatoes start appearing on the vine. Why must they taunt me by only eating half? If you’re going to take my hard-won food, eat it all!

Mammalian critters have complex brains and personalities. Like us, there is a lot of variation in temperament and taste between them, even those of the same species. What works for the raccoons around here, might not work for raccoons across town, let alone across the country, or the continent. In fact, what works this year might not work next year when the local posse have had time to figure out their own solutions to your trickery.

Feeling optimistic yet?

Of course, you could always luck out. The squirrels are particularly ravenous in my brother’s part of the city, whereas I can get away with less protection and still come out at the end with a decent crop and only a few tomatoes lost. I pout and whine, but in comparison to some I don’t lose much. If your garden is in an area like my brother’s, I suggest doing exactly what you mentioned above — wrap the whole thing in a chicken wire cocoon and call it a day. It’s not the prettiest solution, but it does seem to keep the critters off the goods. My brother only has one plant so there’s no point in messing around. Chickenwire may be ugly but it does lend itself to interesting shapes. I like to use lots of extra and sculpt those bits so it’s not just a big blanket of wire around the plant and pot but something almost interesting that looks intentional.

If your critters aren’t great climbers, you can try wrapping just the bottom of the pot so they can’t get in. I’ve never seen a squirrel climb an actual plant, but that’s not to say it can’t happen. They do tend to prefer a perch, whether that’s inside the pot, a chair next to it, or a railing where they can easily sit and get at the fruit near the top.

If you’ve got multiple plants, then you’ve got an opportunity to do some testing to see what works and what doesn’t. There are lots of other solutions that others have employed. Most of these don’t worked for me, but that doesn’t mean they won’t work for you.

  • Pepper flakes and pepper sprays: There’s a lot of contention about this one. Some say the critters touch the pepper and eventually get it in their eyes — not a nice feeling to experience. Some say that’s a load of garbage and the animals aren’t that dumb. I have no answer one way or the other so I don’t use this method. Do know that to be effective, you’ll have to be diligent about reapplying regularly.
  • Obnoxious music: Set a small radio next to your plants and set it to an AM station that plays something grating, like ABBA. Let it be known that I enjoy a little ABBA now and again, but even I will agree that it grates after a while.
  • Things that smell like your pet: Used pet bedding and hair are popular deterrents. Simply spread bits around the soil, hang around plants, or clip it to stakes. This has never worked for me and our immune city critters — they’ve attempted to raid the garden when all of us, including the cat, were sitting right there!
  • Vinegar soaked rags: This is another homemade trick, but you’ve got to contain the rag from dripping vinegar (a natural herbicide) onto your plants and soil. A small margarine container should do the trick.
  • Pinwheels and whirligigs: Set them in the pot with your plants. I find that the constant motion scares away the birds but doesn’t seem to phase our city squirrels and raccoons — they’ll think you’re cute for trying!
  • Sprinkle bloodmeal around the plants: This can work, although I can’t say I love the smell. Coffee is also used but tends to do more to deter digging animals than those looking to score a free meal.


What do you do to keep the squirrels, raccoons, possums, and other mammalian creatures from dining on your tomatoes?

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p.s This week’s Globe & Mail article is on basil.

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