You Grow Girl™

They left out wet, grey, depressing. It's like 5:00 pm all day long. Melted, dirty snow revealing garbage and months old dog shit. And on that note...

Here's Where I Come Clean

Saskatchewan's recent journal entry about killing her plants got me thinking about all the plants I killed over the course of the year 2000. People think I don't kill plants. I give out good advice so I must have perfectly groomed, healthy plants, and no deathes. That is far from the truth. I'm not an expert. I still have a lot to learn, which is part of the reason why I started this site in the first place. I fall prey to the same mistakes I often tell other people not to make. Sometimes it's laziness or neglect. I know that crassula in the hanging basket has compacted soil and needs to be repotted but I just never getting around to doing it. Sometimes it's a result of over-extending myself by having more plants than I can keep up with. My last count of indoor plants reached into the sixties. I keep telling myself I've got a cap on any new plants and then I see something that I can't live without. I rationalize that I can make room. Other times it's simply a matter of purchasing plants for which I can't provide the necessary growing conditions. I impulse buy at the garden shop like the rest of you. I'll go to a garden centre with a list and come home with everything but the plants on the list. Many of the houseplants I'm attracted to require high humidity or loads of light which is difficult to provide in an apartment with small windows, and air that is dry during the winter months.

Now I'm afraid that I'm painting a picture of neglect and greed. I'm not horrible, I'm just not perfect. As the years have passed, I've come to learn more about what I'm really not capable of handling. I really want an orchid, a result of my fascination and awe for epiphytes, but I know I can't provide the right conditions for one and so far I've had the willpower to accept that limitation.

This year I've made a few mistakes but not all of them resulted in death. I'll list the minor mistakes first and the dramatic ones last.

Hanging by a Thread

• Bonsai (Senisa) - Impulse buy. Found out later that it requires lots of light and lots of water or the leaves yellow and drop off quickly. This resulted in the chore of putting it outside in the day and bringing it inside at night all summer long.
  - This winter it is barely hanging on with the aid of artificial light, the brightest window available and frequent watering.
• Jade (Crassula arborescens) - This is actually doing really well now but I had a close call this summer when it got too much sun out on the deck and several leaves burned quite dramatically. I'm ashamed since this is an easy plant to care for.
• Crassula ? variegated - I actually don't know specifically what this plant is. I just know that it's a crassula. As mentioned above, the soil is compact and leaves are often dropping. It needs to be repotted but it is so delicate and the shape so complex that I've been putting off the inevitable for some time now.

• Stone Plant (lithops) - I really wanted this one to work out. I think I "understand" it now and I'm going to try again this year.
• Cobra Lily (Darlingtonia californica) - Who was I kidding when I bought this one? These things have all kinds of crazy requirements.
• Fuchsia "Dark Eyes" - This one I have an excuse for. It needs to come inside during the winter and I didn't have the space or someone to give it to. The end.
• English Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) - Can you believe that up to a week ago this very pot was sitting on my coffee table all dried up and long dead. It looked sort of good and I just left it there like the plant killer that I am. When I kill a plant I tend to leave it there as a reminder of my guilt. This pot is beautiful but I swear it's cursed. Everything I plant in it dies.
• Pothos or Devil's Ivy (Epipremnum aureum) - The shocking thing here is I actually let this one die. Nobody wanted it, I had two. It was often neglected or put in a less preferable place in favour of other more delicate plants. I'm still suffering from the guilt.

I have a beef with Toronto water. This morning when I took my shower, the water was so chlorinated I had to leave the door open a crack so that I wouldn't pass out from the fumes. I swear it smelt like I had an indoor pool in my apartment. The chlorine was so bad I brushed my teeth with bottled water. Do we really require THAT much chlorine in our water to kill off harmful organisms? Recently, a friend of mine pointed out that if chlorine kills living organisms then what does it do when we ingest minute quantities of it. Are we slowly, and in small doses damaging our insides?

To make matters worse, I can't even water my plants today. I would definitely do some serious damage if I watered them with tap water. Plants such as (Chlorophytum comosum) spider plants, are especially sensitive to chlorine in tap water causing burning of the foliage. If I lived in a house, I'd have tubs of tap water distilling in my basement strictly for plant watering and aquarium filling.

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