My Planting Resolutions for 2002:
1. I promise not to overwater my plants especially my succulents. I tend
to treat my plants like my past boyfriends: smother with love, feed too
often and never let them be.
2. I vow NOT to buy a posse of plants that I don’t have room or apt
sunlight for. I tend to go on an insane plant-buying frenzy every time
I’m in a plant store, grocery store, hardware store, garage sale, flea
market, etc. Some call it obsession, while I call it dedication. Who am
I kidding? It’s an obsession.
3. Read, read, read. I need to truly study about all the plants I have
taking up space on every windowsill and semi-lighted area. The more I
know about my plants the more I can prevent their untimely death at my
novice hands.
4. Give up on the deer. I battled against the deer all year and lost.
They ate every single plant I tried to grow outside (all except the
rosemary). So I’ll either have to break down and put up a deer fence,
raise vicious dogs or be content with a Zen rock garden.
5. Refrain from buying expensive, exotic plants that I have no business
trying to grow in my climate, zone or mental state. This probably will
include fancy-schmancy orchids and fussy rose bushes.
6. When my plants decide to commit planticide, I shall not take it
personally. Everyone knows that gardens have their own stubborn ways no
matter how much you think you know. I need to look at these little
deaths in more of a wabi-sabi kind of way. Imperfections are to be
admired and some plants may never be perfect.
7. Write more about my plants. There are tons of traditional (and let’s
face it -- boring) gardening columns out in the world, but I want my
column to be filled with interesting factoids, hilarious anecdotes and
helpful advice. Or at least I need to write more columns than one a
month.
Plants that Uprooted to that Garden of Eden in the Sky:
Here’s where I pay tribute to all the plants that have died in my care
in 2001. Oh how I will miss thee. I mostly blame the deer.
1. Split Rock: Half of you got mushy from root rot and had to be
thrown away. You were my pride and joy. And I hope the other half of you
manages to survive so that I can boast to my pals about how I take
special care of all my weird-looking plants.
2. Living Stone: I bought you on eBay from a specialty greenhouse, waited patiently for your arrival and then watched you
shrivel up and die as I messed up your watering schedule.
 3. Garlic plant: I thought it was so cool when I plopped a
store-bought bulb of garlic into the ground and watched it grow. I
planted it outside when it was full-grown only to wake up the next
morning and witness hungry deer munching away at your green stalks.
Apparently the deer aren’t vampires as I suspected.
4. Mexican Bush Sage: Another deer casualty. I thought I could
outsmart Bambi and the gang. I was wrong.
 5. Dragon Tree: I separated this plant from its taller plants it
came with. Unfortunately I must have damaged the roots when I divided it
and killed it without realizing. It got mushy and gave up trying to
live. So much for my propagation skills.
6. Various herbs: My peppermint, lemon balm, Thai pepper tree
and garlic chives were either munched to death my white flies, mealy
bugs or hungry deer. And all I wanted to do was impress the Naked Chef
(Jamie Oliver) with my herb-growing skills. (Sigh.)
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