You Grow Girl™

I often wonder if insane people feel at home in mental hospitals since they're surrounded by people with similar obsessions and fears. I figured you only look insane if you're the only one doing something out of the ordinary. Case in point, I'm a plant nut. No really, I'm obsessed with plants in a way that's not considered normal. Gardening isn't a hobby for me. It's a way of life. I can't go into someone's house without trying to save their plants, or propogate them. I go into shops or doctors' offices and stare in horror and sadness at their neglected plants as though they were abused children. I own more houseplants than any one person usually has in a lifetime, let alone the living room. I can't stop buying plant books and I sigh in complete contentment when I step into a greenhouse or nursery.

All this time I thought I may have been a freak, but since I've started attending horticulture classes at Cabrillo College, I now know I'm not alone. Plant freaks are everywhere and now I'm studying with them.

All this week, I've been soaking up loads of information from my Plant Materials and Design class, Basic Horticulture (which is anything BUT basic) and Landscape Construction. Plus I have three 3-hour labs every week. Did I mention one of my independent labs will be solely focusing on my number one obsession-- succulents? I think I've died and gone to Eden.

I love that my professors are just as nutty as I am when it comes to studying plants. Prof. Lisa McAndrews runs the Plant Materials and Design class. She reminds me of my mom in her sense of humor and crazy straw hat. On the first day of lab, she took us on a haphazard tour of the plants growing around campus. I think she was more upset by the university's lack of an irrigation system, but I learned more about trees (especially the ones that destroy sidewalks) in one hour from this woman than I have in my whole 30 years on this blue marble. She was the first professor to reveal how many Latin botanical names I get to memorize this semester -- 100 names and that's only in her class. I get to learn 100+ in the Basic Horticulture class. Oh my. At least I'll be given credit for making 200 flash cards.

Prof. Richard Merrill teaches my Basic Horticulture class. You might recognize his name if you have the book The Gardener's Table: A Guide to Natural Vegetable Growing and Cooking.

Prof. Merrill got my attention right off the bat with his warning that 20 percent of the students drop his class because of its difficulty. Eeeep. But I have no idea WHY anyone would drop the class. This guy knows his stuff, and he's excited about it. Sometimes he does a little wiggly jig when he pronounces a plant's name in Latin, or if he's on a plant topic he loves to dissect. Plus he has a habit of punning whenever possible. He's been teaching for over 30 years at Cabrillo and talks nonstop about the new 9-million-dollar greenhouse Cabrillo is opening on campus in the Spring. I can't wait to move in there either, but since this is all new to me, I'm in awe even in the older greenhouse we're working in now.

Cabrillo has the largest collection of salvias, one of the most popular plant sales in the country every Mother's Day and more succulents than I've ever witnessed in one setting. I just may move in.

So if you want to know a few things I've learned in my first week, here's a smidgen of the info bouncing around in my brain:

1. Trees don't like to be planted in lawns.
2. There are over 750 different species of salvias.
3. Escallonia is nearly impossible to remove without help from burly men.
4. Red Rock Canyon is the only reason to visit Las Vegas.
5. A pollen grain has as much info on plant ID as a fingerprint is for humans.
6. Humans have a genetic memory of plant knowledge thanks to our ancestors who were hunters and gatherers.
7. In every painting or image depicting the Garden of Eden there are 4 constants: flowing water, biodiversity, trees and dappled shade.
8. During the Dark Ages, monasteries would grant you sanctuary if you brought a plant they dodn't have.
9. Aphids give live birth.
10. Boulder Creek is the rainest place in Northern California. BC is zone 9.
11. Deer eat what their parents eat. There are no deer-proof plants.
12. Every fruit has three tissues.
13. It's okay to kill a plant - but only ONCE.
14. Horticulture is the study of everything, not just plants.
15. Know your tools and prune well.