Holiday Gifts for Gardeners 2008

Holiday Gifts for Gardeners 2008

Please note that items are listed in U.S prices.

1. Botanicalls DIY Plant Twitter Kit$99.00 How many of us really need this? I don’t really need this. I know when to water my plants. All I have to do is, you know, check them… With my eyes and hands. But the geek in me desperately wants this and that’s why I have listed it first even though I typically list the crazy, ridiculous items last. Place the leads in your plant’s pot and this little D.I.Y doohickey sends updates to a Twitter account on your plant’s status, reminding you when it needs water or has been given too much. The kit comes in pieces — you’ll have to put it together yourself, but for people like me who only passed high school computer science because I could build a working circuit (and those who passed because they could build a working circuit AND actually write and understand BASIC) that’s nearly the best part!

2. Plantable Seed Calendar$24.95 Here’s a pretty little botanically inspired desk calendar that has a life beyond 2009. Each month is impregnated with wildflower seeds that can be planted when the year is out. I also like that the plants are listed since the word “wildflower” is so grossly overused — what’s wild in one region can be horribly invasive in another. Most plantable products become a bit of a guessing game, which could be fun, almost like a botanical surprise pack, if not for the unfortunate surprise that can come once the seeds have sprouted.

3. Metal Word Herb Markers$22.50 These herbal plant markers are simple, understated and very tastefully done. FINALLY!

4. The Organic Gardener’s Handbook of Natural Insect and Disease Control$14.93 I always try to add at least one book to the list and this year I wanted to include something that gardeners of any skill and experience level can use and appreciate. This book is it. I’ve recommended this book countless times over the years because it is the one book on my own shelf that I have turned to most. Pests and diseases are the great leveler — all gardeners, regardless of skill level succumb to them now and again. I consider this book the bible, the go-to book whenever I need to identify an unknown pest or problem or get a good idea of the environmental impact of a particular spray or remedy. And at nearly 600 pages, this book doesn’t miss much.

5. Grobal Self-watering Pot$12.95 Now here’s something that the forgetful gardener can really use. They remind me of the 80s era self-watering planters made by Tupperware, only a heck of a lot nicer. Finally, a pot that is aesthetically pleasing, reasonably priced, and actually useful! Definitely go for the larger pot, the baby version is too small for most houseplants.

6. USB Greenhouse$19.99 Here’s a gift for gardeners doing the 9-5 in front of a computer in a dark and lifeless office cubicle. It looks like the small size could be a barrier to growing anything substantial although it might work for seedlings, or perhaps some leafy greens and microgreens to supplement the boxed lunch. I can’t vouch for the environmental impact of this product since it is running on electricity, but perhaps it makes up for that just a little bit by increasing mental health.

7. Flasher Planter$110 Another item on the pricey side but worth mentioning if someone out there can afford it. I recently suggested this item when Canadian Gardening magazine asked me what I’d like to receive for the Holidays this year. It was a bit of wishful thinking, really, since there is no hope in hell that this will be coming my way anytime soon but still, hilarious isn’t it? And completely appealing to my great love for dioramas.


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‘Parisian Pickling’ Cucumber

Photo by Gayla Trail  All Rights Reserved

Remember summer? Yeah, me neither.

If you’re looking for a crunchy little cucumber, especially one to pickle, give ‘Parisian Pickling’ a try. I’ve grown it a few times, although none have ever made it to the pickling stage. Few even make it past the garden since I love to pick them off the vine and eat them while working. Come to think of it, one of the big benefits of growing even one edible plant in your garden is that there is always something to munch on while you work. And gardening always makes me hungry.

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Ella’s Botanicals – Healing Skin Salve

Photo by Gayla Trail  All Rights Reserved

This little pot of Healing Skin Salve by Ella’s Botanicals is currently saving my life. When I last wrote I was suffering from a bandage-related allergy but the actual tattoo wasn’t too bad — a little itching here and there but nothing unbearable. Well, shortly thereafter things took a turn with the allergy calming considerably and the tattoo… the tattoo went rogue bringing pain and itching to my arm that was really uncalled for. How rude! Oh the itching! As a lifelong allergy sufferer who has experienced several bouts of full-body hives, I had no idea a patch of skin could itch like that!

Of course, I am speaking in the past-tense here with a lot of trepidation because only a few hours have passed since my last bad attack of The Worst itching Known to Humanity. It could come back at any minute but until then I am enjoying the most marvelous sweet, sweet relief.

You see, when I got my tattoo I was given a rundown on tattoo aftercare including a card in case I forgot anything. The instructions were to keep the tattoo as dry as possible and wait until this Thursday (tomorrow) before applying a water-based moisturizer. I followed those instructions to the letter at first. But by yesterday morning I was in so much pain, and the tattoo so dry and awful looking, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. Some of the information I read online said that keeping a new tattoo too dry can be as damaging as getting it wet. In the comments, Amber suggested applying a Burt’s Bee’s product called ResQ Salve that contains lots of healing herbs like comfrey and calendula but which is oil-based rather than water-based. I high tailed it to the health food store anyways to see what they had. They didn’t have that product but they had a ton of salves. I looked at the water-based moisturizers but couldn’t find anything containing the kind of healing and soothing ingredients I was looking for so I decided to break with the original instructions further by going with the oil-based skin salve that looked the best.

I believe in following expert advice and rules when they make sense but I also have a healthy relationship with dissent and know when to trust my intuition and try things my way. I’m not a tattoo expert. This is my first one! But I know my body, I know when things have gone awry with it, and I have a lifetime of experience in which ingredients and products work best for me. Since yesterday afternoon I have applied the salve several times and have noticed a huge difference in the quality of my skin, which has gone from painfully cracked and dry to smooth and on the mend. I woke up at 6am this morning in agonizing itch but I think that was because my arm got too hot underneath the covers. Since then it has calmed down considerably and I am enjoying the first real relief in days.

Obviously I think the Ella’s product is good. It’s working. It smells great with a lavender/rose scent that is light, not overwhelming. I’ve had a lot of experience with salves and even make my own from time-to-time (my personal recipe is in the You Grow Girl book) and the Ella’s has the best texture of any product I have made myself or purchased. Getting a mix that melts easily when you touch it without being too greasy and wet in the jar is not easy. The Ella’s is just right making it safe and easy to apply to my pretty, but giant scab.

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As You Might Have Imagined, It’s Botanical

Photo by Davin Risk All Rights Reserved

I got a tattoo.

I feel a little silly saying it since there is something kind of odd really about having artwork permanently etched onto one’s body. And despite what anyone has ever told you, getting a tattoo hurts. So, paying someone to essentially scratch me repeatedly for hours on end with a cluster of seven needles on a vibrating pen that introduces ink to the wound that will hopefully, if all goes well, become a permanent scar on my body… yeah, that’s a bit odd.

I’m only really getting just how odd now that it’s there. I’m very glad that I decided to wait until I was old enough to be sure about what I was putting on my body. Had I gone ahead at the age of consent I might be stuck with Morrissey’s mug on my arm or… I don’t want to imagine the humiliating possibilities… I shudder to think.

Here’s the outline only minutes after completion in all of it’s swollen and painful glory:

Photo by Davin Risk All Rights Reserved

  • My spouse Davin drew the illustration. I wanted it to be unique to me and having it come from him was important. We enjoy collaborating on art projects, although in this case I was less involved in the making. My role was to bear the pain and permanently host the art.
  • The work was done by India Amara.
  • It’s based on an unknown wild tomato that comes up as a volunteer in my community garden plot every year. I wanted something that, in my mind, represented resilience, perseverance, and determination.
  • I decided on a tomato plant for pretty obvious reasons — it’s my favourite plant to grow!

I really like the tattoo although I am second-guessing going back at a later date to have it shaded. I’m starting to think it might be good enough as-is. These doubts about follow-up work started a day ago and were cast by the itching.

Oh the itching. Someone please make the itching stop!

The tattoo itself just started itching yesterday but that itching was previously usurped by the massive bandage and paper tape allergy that has erupted on the underside of my arm. I have a giant red welt underneath my arm and a smaller one just next to it. But now that the scabbing is in full effect the tattoo itself has begun to itch. Imagine, if you will, that a cat has gone to town on your arm. And now those scratches have scabbed over. Ouch! There were some horribly wincing moments during the tattooing process, but I have a fairly high pain tolerance and those moments were lingering. I started to get irritated with the process by the end but never once thought about stopping. But the itching… the itching may take me down yet. So now the tattoo has a whole new meaning to add to the symbolism.

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A Hazy Shade of December

Photo by Gayla Trail  All Rights Reserved

For a long list of reasons — many of which I am still in therapy for — I’ve just never been a fan of THE HOLIDAYS. This is why there has always been a distinct lack of HOLIDAY-related nonsense on this site. Pretty much as soon as Dec 1 hits I dive into a hole. It’s not a depression, but more like the mental version of shutting my eyes and waiting for it to be over. Sure, I give the odd nod here and there because face it, if you’re living in North America there is no escaping it. They switch the intercom soundtracks and start lining the shelves with all the must-have stuff as soon as Halloween rolls out. The crazy Light Wars people down the street have had their front yard mise en scene on display for a solid month now.

Anykitsch, my point — and I do have one although it got buried in descriptions and I’m kind of lost now…. Give me a sec. See what happens when I just start to talk about it? Brain coma. Oh yes, my point is that it’s inescapable unless you have buckets of cash and can afford to fly away to some remote location every year. Believe me, I would. The fantasies have already begun. Oddly enough I don’t mind THE HOLIDAYS in other countries and languages. Probably because all the rituals and bull crap is foreign, slightly incomprehensible, and easy to enjoy for what it isn’t.

But the reality is that I don’t have buckets of cash and can’t always scrape together the bills to take me away from it all. Most years I have no choice but to stay where I am and ride it out. I have learned over time that trying to close my eyes and pretend it isn’t happening doesn’t work very well. What does seem to work is embracing the aspects of it that hold fond memories and throwing the rest in the gutter where it belongs. Maybe it’s the gardener in me but I only seem to like the plant-related aspects of THE HOLIDAYS. I like the tree. I like the food. I like the Amaryllis. I’d like the mistletoe if we had the real stuff. I like pine cones. I like the lights too. Even the crazy Light Wars houses. Bless them. I like the REALLY kitsch, REALLY over-the-top crazy, blinding dazzle camouflage decorations and seasonal decor. Thank you to anyone who does this. You keep the good crazy in Xmas.

oldholiday.jpg

Part of our 2006 Holiday Card. I based my character and outfit on a former art teacher’s wife.

And so, it comes as some surprise to me that this year, for the first time ever, I feel like I might be able to make it through the month of December with my eyes slightly open. Maybe just a little squinting and a touch of Vaseline smeared over my eyeglass lenses for a softening effect. In fact December hasn’t even come yet and I am already itching to get my tacky tree out. And even wackier still, I spent a few hours the other night constructing cute little soft trees to display on my desk. The pattern is from Stephanie of the now-defunct Little Birds blog. You can see a whole gallery of handcrafted soft trees trees on Flickr. I have made 4 so far constructed entirely of scrap materials. The outsides are sewn using bits and pieces from my scrap bin, the decorations are from a giant container of odd buttons collected over the years, and I stuffed them using old t-shirts and holey socks. I like to make mine as wonky as possible, like a blend of Dr. Seuss and the sad Peanuts Xmas twig tree.

I’m thinking maybe I’ll bust out the white wool roving and make a little snowy diorama with my wonk trees. A weird attempt to capture the bits of a season I could really do without.

What do you love/hate about THE HOLIDAYS? How do you keep your sanity and/or enjoy?

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