Journal

February 25, 2009

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Personal Histories

Phew, that was fast. I put the finishing touches on an article late last night and it is already up on the Guardian website. This one, about the relationship between myself and my maternal grandmother is a bit more personal than usual and I am still getting used to having put it out there. However, it is also just the sort of thing I am pushing myself to write more of despite fears and reservations.

I’ve struggled over the years (more than I care to admit) with feeling like an outsider in the gardening industry. My personal history just doesn’t look like many of the stories I’ve heard from the overwhelming majority of garden writers. And so I have hidden who I am. That’s not to say that my writing is not honest or true, but that there is more, much, much more.

I have often felt that what I had to say about my own experiences was too much, too heavy, too messy, inappropriate for this venue (garden writing) …not quaint and cute enough. I’ve silenced myself in small ways as a result. As what I produce has increasingly become tied to my ability to make a decent living I’ve silenced myself still more.

I took the first steps away from that self-imposed choke hold a few years ago and then moved forward further still last year with the Recreating Eden documentary and a personal piece for Organic Gardening magazine. I saw these venues as opportunities to push myself and reveal more about past experiences that have lead me to where and who I am as a gardener. And as a person too. It’s difficult to separate the two and I suppose maybe the problem is that while my way of creating a palatable public presentation was personable, it withheld the complexity of my humanness. In the end neither the outcome of the documentary nor the article were nearly as dramatic as they felt at the time.

This new piece is another take on the Organic Gardening article, which will be evident within the first few sentences. I suppose the thing is there is no individual story that sums things up. I am often asked to talk about how I got started gardening and I have to admit that I have never been able to answer easily or succinctly. There are many stories, and a book’s worth of experiences that lead me to where I am. I know in my heart that complexity is the truth behind all of our lives and that if I want to see and feel that I am not an outsider (perhaps we all are) then I need to be willing to take a chance and step into my own fears a little bit. Or a lot.

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January 12, 2009

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CUBA!

I’m back! I’m covered in mosquito bites. Itchy. I’m sunburned. Also itchy. I’m feeling much more alive and functional than I was before I left, although my brain is also super scrambled from the complexity of this trip.

What a trip! I went in with certain expectations based on our previous trip and a certain familiarity with the area around the hotel we chose. But when we got off the plane we were informed that something was busted at our hotel and there was no water so we were being sent to a “fancy” resort 3 hours from our hotel and to a region (Guama) I knew literally nothing about. This new hotel was considered an upgrade, one we would be happy with if we could stand the idea of spending a week at a resort, but we decided right away that when you go to Cuba you have to expect the unexpected. So we just accepted that whatever happened would be what it was and we would go with it.

It turned out to be much better than I expected. I could do without the dynamics of the resort, but boy was the landscape beautiful. The buildings were situated on the side of a mountain so we were right there with stunning views and amazing plants all around. I found it difficult to reconcile the beauty of the landscape and the complexity of being where I was, in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by poverty, with the ugliness of resort life. But again, we just decided to chalk it all up to experience and soak it all in.

Anyways… the plants. Bromeliads and tillandsia everywhere! Some flowering. Palms of every kind. I hugged a lot of palms. This region, more than the area closer to Santiago was covered in the majestic Cuban Palm (Roystonea regia), the national plant of Cuba. What a gorgeous, regal plant! I’m so glad I got the chance to get up close to them this time around.

To my surprise and delight the hotel had a stunning botanical garden as well as a productive food garden. I was also able on this trip to see more agriculture and gardens. So while I missed a second chance to visit the Cactus Garden, I got a lot of unexpected and equally amazing botanical experiences in exchange.

I have lots to write about but I also have a ton to accomplish on my first day back. More soon.

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December 31, 2008

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The Last Post for 2008

It’s that time of year again. I’m supposed to write some kind of rundown of the year highlighting the ups and downs. Look to the future. Make resolutions. Count my blessings. Recap events. Write some kind of list, maybe? But the brain. The brain is dead. The brain was worked overtime for too long and has nothing left to give. I am a shell of my former self. I’m not depressed, just depleted.

But never mind all that. I’ve been a broken record of “poor me” lately to the point of embarrassment, but in a few days I am off to refuel. I should have done this ages ago but the schedule wasn’t permitting, nor was the money, and then there was the sudden realization that something had to give. Now or never. And so I’m off to recapture a bit of the summer that was lost staring at a computer screen for too many hours. Off to spend a few days refueling, refreshing, and experiencing all of my favourite things: sun, warm breezes, ocean, PLANTS, fish, greenery, grasses, rocks, birds, taking photos, seeing, smelling, listening, walking. I’m not a sit on the beach vacationer. I can’t stand the idea of lounging around with a whole new world to discover. What I always seem to need more than rest and relaxation when my perspective is swayed by exhaustion and depletion is to SEE things, have small adventures, and experience those little moments of wonder that bring me back to who I am and what I value most in life.

Funny how plants got me here in one way, yet they are also always a big part in finding my way back.

Oddly enough, by chance and luck, we are going back to Santiago de Cuba. I never thought I’d go there again and yet I am. I’m pretty excited about it for about a million reasons and am absolutely crazed with anticipation about getting to see some of the things we missed or had to pass over too quickly. One of the things that comes immediately to mind is The Cactus Garden. I had to run through it like a maniac last year. This time I hope to spend lots of time looking at each plant and watching the teeny, tiny hummingbirds flutter from one agave flower to the next.

If you’d like to see some of the pictures I took last year I have some plant photos here and non plant photos over here.

I hope you all have a great holiday and get a chance to spend some time filling up with the things that inspire you most and keep you in touch with who you are. Until next year!

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December 29, 2008

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Book: A Tale of 12 Kitchens by Jake Tilson

I bought “A Tale of 12 Kitchens” by artist and designer Jake Tilson just over a year ago and have been trying to find a reason to write about it on the site ever since. The book isn’t particularly about gardening or cooking from garden fresh food, although it does have brief sections describing the author’s family food gardens and a section about homegrown herbs that I will describe later. Regardless, I’ve given up looking for a valid reason and have decided it fits, however loosely.

I initially bought the book to take with me on a train trip to Montreal. At the time this cookbook meets travelogue was the perfect accompaniment to a colourful Fall journey. I particularly love traveling by train and the ride between Toronto and Montreal is my ideal. It’s long enough to really dive into a book or spend ample time daydreaming through the window at beautiful passing landscapes but not so long that you can smell the scent of hell’s inner depths wafting from the toilets every time the door is opened, or that your knees start to ache forcing you into awkward positions in an attempt to get some relief and reminding you that you are old and could drop down dead at any minute. That’s what it was like that time we thought it might be fun and “productive” (I’ll read two books and finally finish that knit hat and by arrival I will have conquered the world!!) to take a 12 hour train trip to New York City. Or was it 14 hours? Or was it forever? Maybe I’m still on that train. Never. Again. So help me god. But the trip to Montreal is perfection. It has this way of deluding me into believing that train travel is the only way to go anywhere, period. I’d go once a season if I could afford it. Come to think of it, three seasons; I’ll skip winter. There’s a reason why I live in Toronto rather than beautiful Montreal, home of the brutal 1998 ice storm.

When I opened the book to take pictures I was surprised to find leaves I had collected on Montreal’s mountain and tucked into the pages for safe keeping.

In my travel experiences food is always tied into the delight and adventure of discovering new sights and smells. Whenever I think about the places I have been I can’t help but think about the food I ate. I can often remember exactly what I ate and where I ate it. Cooking and eating, like gardening, happens within context and always comes with a story. I like to look at cookbooks but for the most part I only like the ones that say more than, “Make this dish. Here’s how.” One of the reasons I love this book is because Jake Tilson has managed to combine a cookbook with a travelogue in a way that is both instructional and inspirational. I feel like I am reading a story or am invited along for the journey and I can experience the book on that level without ever making the recipes. In fact, I have had this book for over a year and have bought two additional copies for friends but had not made a single recipe until just a few weeks ago. It’s like two books in one!

We tried the pancakes on page 104 and they turned out to be the best pancakes we have ever made, hands down. His idea to whip the egg whites first made “cakes” that were amazingly light and fluffy, especially since we used spelt flour, which often turns out flatter “cakes” in my experience. We ate the pancakes with black currant jam.

How we eat and what we eat, especially while traveling is wrapped up inside all kinds of interesting packaging both literally and figuratively. One of my absolute favourite things to do when I visit any new place is go to both the local markets and the larger commercial supermarkets if they have one. I love to see what people eat, how they buy it, and how it is packaged. I often bring back cans of completely average products or candies and wrappers that are completely different than anything I have seen at home. As a graphic designer Tilson has a love for food packaging and has filled the book with labels and photos of food purchased around the world. Each page is a visual treat with all kinds of cookbook covers, shopping bags and packages I have never seen before.

One of my favourite pages in the book (choosing one is no small feat) shows fresh herb packages that he designs and sends to friends from their family home in Tuscany. All of the herbs including bay leaves, juniper berries and fennel flowers are harvest on the property. Yum! I also give away some of my freshly grown herbs and do package them up, and while I have designed packages for pickles and tea sets I have never done so for the herbs. Looking at the book again has inspired me to go that extra mile with next year’s herb.

I can hardly wait.

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December 12, 2008

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Gifts for Gardeners (To Make): Music to Garden To

Remember mixed tapes? The format is all but dead but I’m still keeping a tape player on hand and have hoarded a box full that were given as friendship letters from loved ones over a decade ago when it was still our favourite way to say we cared. CD and DVD are the obvious tangible format of choice these days, but maybe it’s just my age (old) or the way my time is distributed but I’ve lost the love for making mixes. I can’t even muster the effort to half-ass it let alone take the time and care I used to in not only choosing the songs, but carefully transitioning tracks with my “disco mixer” and designing original sleeves for every tape. It’s kind of sad really, and at times a form of creativity that I miss. Although, I definitely have not lost my love of music or my desire to share it. I’ve just lost the ambition to share it in a time-consuming and artful way.

But this week I’ve been thinking about gifts to give to gardeners that one can make; gifts that consider the “giftee”, are thoughtful and require some effort to make, but do not cost a lot of money. I won’t condescend to you by framing this idea within the context of “In these trying economic times…” because frankly, if I hear that phrase used as a reason to be frugal, or god forbid, scale back a little one more time I am going to lose it. As an aside, how many times since this so-called recession/depression has been formally confirmed have I seen newscasts that propose to teach us, the apparently idiot public, how to spend less and scale back presented by some doofus laden in bling, suggesting that we simply “Spend less money”? GAH!

Anyrant, listening to music while gardening is a great way to enhance the experience. I don’t do it often because sometimes I enjoy the sounds of the garden itself as a part of the total experience. You know, the trucks beeping as they back up or the mockingbird calls at the community garden backed up by the constant hum of The Beer Store coolers.

It’s all a part of the ambiance. The soothing sounds of Nature.

The great thing about listening to music while gardening is that you can match your gardening mood or tasks on any given day to a suitable soundtrack. You can listen to aggressive and fast music when you’re on a rampage against compacted soil or a booming aphid population. Or when you just need to release some pent up anger. Or you can choose gentle, calming music on a slow day when you’re in the mood for reflection, connection with your garden and affectionate contemplation.

So rather than simply giving a mix to a friend of music you like, why not get more specific and choose your favourite songs to garden to? I know you’ll have your own favourites — please do share them in the comments — but to get the ball rolling, here are a few of mine:

Nick Drake “From the Morning” – I often think of this song when I contemplate the affection I feel for my gardens. “Place to Be” is a good one too. Or “Horn.” Really, anything from the Pink Moon album works.
Stevie Wonder “Joy Inside My Tears” – Anything from Stevie Wonder’s soundtrack to the film “The Secret Life of Plants” is an obvious choice but when I thought about Stevie Wonder my initial thought was actually “Joy Inside My Tears” from the excellent, “Songs in the Key of Life.”
Stevie Wonder “Don’t You Worry Bout a Thing” – I don’t mean to make this “Stevie Wonder and Friends” but this is a good upbeat song that reminds me to chill out, take things in stride, and in the context of gardening feel a certain appreciation for the struggles I have overcome.
Nina Simone “Ain’t Got No, I Got Life” – Here’s another one in the Things-suck-but-I-still-kick-ass category. And at least I have my garden.
Public Enemy “Louder Than Bomb” – Yes, I do think Public Enemy is completely appropriate when gardening. Because when Chuck D wrote, “My posses always ready, and they’re waitin’ in my zone” he meant plants and the USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map, right?
Nina Simone “Save Me” – This is for when you are drowning in an aphid infestation.
The Roots “The Next Movement” – This song never fails to lift a bad mood and get me moving.
The Rolling Stones “Street Fighting Man” – This is one of my favourite “tearing shit up” songs.
Elliott Smith “Tomorrow Tomorrow” – I fell in love with the XO album during a particularly miserable summer and always ache to listen to it around June/July. Listen to this song and remind yourself that the forgiving thing about gardening is that there is always another chance to try again next year.
Feist “Mushaboom” – My friend is going to give me crap for listing this (sorry J) but COME ON, she talks about pining for a place to start a garden when you’re living in an apartment without a yard. I can’t help but relate.