You all made some great guesses and invented some interesting products while trying to guess what was underneath the many miles of bubble wrap. I’ll take the seed bomb launcher, the combine for a container wheat field, or the automatic garden weeder, please.
One guess was really close, but went a bit too far. (Daniel: Since you were the closest, send me an email with your address and I’ll mail off your prize.) The others focused too much on the paddle-like shape, which it turns out was really just a protective box and not a good indication of what was inside.
And so……

It’s a 12 foot telescoping tree pruner!
I think I threw you off by having the photo taken on the roof when it isn’t intended for that garden. Over the years, weed trees at our community garden have been growing and slowly diminishing light onto some of the plots, mine included. Unfortunately, the trees on that side are fronted by a slope that makes setting up a ladder difficult… if we could get a ladder that tall there in the first place. I have traipsed through the neighborhood with some interesting things, but an enormous ladder might be crossing a line. If not incredibly heavy and difficult! There is also a long bed of plants we don’t want to trample on in the pruning process. The last time the trees were pruned was years ago — my brother climbed up into them to do the job! By now there are no large limbs, but lots of thin branches and bushy leaves.
We’re hoping that the 12 foot pruners will allow us to get up to the tall growth that is doing the most harm, without hurting ourselves or the existing plant beds in the process. I’ll admit that I’m a bit afraid of this device. Especially if I were to attach the giant saw blade it came with. I’m afraid of that blade on it’s own, even while still inside the package!
I’ll let you know how it works out. The first thing I have to do is parade through the neighborhood with this giant, terrifying weapon-like object in tow. That shouldn’t scare the neighbors. The good news is that the community garden is within walking distance, and accessible via side streets. I won’t need to ride my bike with it, carry it on the streetcar, or, god forbid, hail a cab.
I often tell new gardeners that in general, fancy tools are not necessary to grow a garden. Frankly, when container gardening, you could get by with a pair of gloves and a spoon. Actually, I rarely use the gloves. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that we would need something like this for our small urban garden… but here we are. Either those branches are pruned or I don’t grow tomatoes in my plot. The answer is obvious.
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Davin insisted I include this fighting pose with the handle retracted. It’s a little less threatening… but not by much.
