2008 April 16 | You Grow Girl.

April 16, 2008

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Monster Impatiens: Leading the War Against Humanity

FYI: This is what passes for an impatiens in San Francisco. If you live in a warmer climate you will be unimpressed by my discovery. If you are from my neck of the woods your mind will have been blown wide open! In case you didn’t get the memo, San Francisco is a Utopian paradise where plants grow larger than life. Everything is bigger and better there, and I’m not just talking about the marijuana cigarettes. Our Northern version of an impatiens is a dull flowering annual commonly tossed into a monochromatic ring underneath small trees and accompanied by a border of decorative plastic edging. They rarely grow taller than 10 inches before they are dug up and tossed out at the end of the growing season.

It reaches as high as the bottle brush!

As you can guess from my unflattering description, I’ve never been a fan of these lackluster flowers. Really the only thing that makes them even marginally interesting is the fact that they are edible, and even that is nothing to write home about. But I think I can respect the impatiens I saw in San Francisco even if that respect is born out of the fear that a plant that can grow with that kind of vigor from out of a sidewalk crack could probably eat me for breakfast.

Assorted and Sundry for 08/04/16

2008 Mouse & Trowel Finalists – Not begging for your vote. Nope. Definitely not doing that.

The War for Seeds – The French seed bank Kokopelli was recently fined and taken to court by the French government and corporate seed merchant Baumaux for selling rare seed varieties that aren’t on the official EU-approved list. The following is an excerpt from a press release that explains what this means:

“The European Union, has a system that restricts the sale of seeds that are not registered on their approved list. Any heirloom seeds that are sold must be formally registered with European Union governments and sold only by vendors who can afford to pay the registration fees.

By forbidding Kokopelli from selling unregistered seeds, it is likely that 99% of heritage seeds will no longer be commercially available in Europe and, according to the organizationÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s calculations, over 2500 varieties are at risk of disappearing.”

An online petition supporting Kokopelli is available here. – Thanks Gwynne.

Verbotomy – Are you suffering from the debilitating effects of discomposture or recychosis? You’re not alone. Help is on the way and operators are standing by to take your call.