A Public Apology to the Opposum

So…. ummm… how’s it going? [Hides metaphorical tail between legs.] Right. So turns out it most likely, for sure, probably, maybe wasn’t you doing all that horrible damage to the tomato plants, basil, nasturtiums, pansies, tansy, succulents, etc a few weeks back. Turns out I maybe, sort-of, possibly, most likely made a little tiny mistake and accused the wrong critter visitor. This is not to say you’re all 100% innocent of plant theft or anything just that you probably aren’t responsible for 95% of the damage incurred and that if our dispute were to have gone to court and Matlock was your lawyer there would be that part at the end where he turns off the bumbling southern gent in a grey suit act and turns on the cut-throat killer lawyer in a grey suit realness and manages to smart-talk the REAL culprit to confess his crime in the court room and I’d look like a fool for publicly blaming you for all that damage. Which I did. Which was wrong of me.

Which is not to say that I didn’t make a reasonable mistake and that any other ‘possum might not be responsible for such acts of wanton plant destruction but that you specifically are not the culprit. You are a mostly innocent ‘possum who took a public stoning of which I am responsible for acts you mostly, probably, sort-of didn’t commit.

Please accept my humble apology.

So just who was responsible for the carnage and mayhem we experienced on the rooftop garden over those few weeks? Turns out it was most probably a male starling. Yes. That’s right. A bird! A smallish bird took the tops off of nice-sized tomato plants. A smallish bird vanished entire plants from their pots. A smallish bird had me tearing my hair out searching out ways to protect my helpless seedlings. A smallish bird is responsible for all of that destruction!

We should have been thinking about the bird way back in early spring when Davin first caught a male starling snipping flowers from some of the planter boxes. Of course, a small flower is not in the same league as an entire tomato plant ripped right out of the pot. It did not occur to either of us that a smallish bird could have the strength to achieve such a feat let alone the interest to do so. We started to hit onto the bird possibility when I found that plants inside my crazy chicken-wire cage contraption were still disappearing, yet the cage remained untouched. No ‘possum is nimble enough to get inside that thing without causing any damage but an agile bird could fly in and out through the top without leaving a trace.

At about the same time Davin caught this same starling attempting to fly up to the nest with a large artemisia root ball that I had dug out and tossed away earlier that week. The bird was able to get a mangled, dried-up root well over double its size up onto the top roof of our building! That’s kind of amazing when you think about it. I don’t know whether to applaud the starling or stay really pissed at it over my dead plants. In doing some research Davin discovered that starlings put all kinds of plant matter, both dry and fresh, into their nests for a few possible reasons. The thought is that they are either choosing very specific plants that are resistant to the mites that plague them, or as a way to cool down the nest. This makes a lot of sense when I think about it because many of the plants that were stolen were very strong-smelling plants or powerful herbs. No other critter visitor had ever been interested in eating these plants! And at the same time delicious, ripe strawberry bounty (a typical bird delight) remained intact and untouched.

The gutters lining our roof were replaced a few weeks toward the end of winter. We’ve had starlings nesting up there for years with no trouble at all so we’ve hypothesized that perhaps their nest was damaged in the replacement creating a need for lots of new and old plant material to bring the nest back up to code so-to-speak.

Thankfully things seem to be settled down now. I replaced my crappy-yet-effective chair contraption with a wooden kiddie safety gate garbage picked from a “fancy” neighborhood. We have not seen the ‘possum in weeks. The birds seem to be settled into their nests and plant theft seems to have hit a complete standstill. Many of the plants that were not entirely removed from their pots are starting to come back to life and have mostly surpassed their original size save some basil that was picked clean pretty late in the game and an indeterminate tomato that lost its main stem. This plant will be a whole new and unexpected experiment to add to my list of experiments for the 2007 growing season. How does a tomato grow when the main stem is completely severed from the plant? The parts that are now forming the top portion of the plant are essentially “suckers” that are usually removed. If my tomato doesn’t produce a good bounty this fall I’ll be looking at you male starling. Looking at you very sternly. And with some possible aggressive finger wagging.

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Before and After – Strawberry Canister

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This is what it looked like today. There was a third ripe strawberry this morning but a certain someone (hint: rhymes with Gavin) got to it before I could take some photos.

What it looked like at planting time a few weeks ago.

Turns out that plants, they grow!

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While Wearing My Coordinating Floral Hat, Apron, Gloves, and Weeding Kneepads

Yesterday afternoon. I am standing over a table of zucchini transplants contemplating a purchase. This is a yellow variety that looks to have the interesting mottled leaf pattern I like. I am holding a tentative purchase in one hand while I scan the table, holding out for the healthiest looking plant in the bunch. I find one that looks to be just a bit nicer than the one I am currently holding and as I reach to replace the old choice with the new choice a thought suddenly and very unexpectedly enters my mind.

I feel sorry for the plant I am putting back! I am not giving it a home, a nice place to grow and flourish. What if no one buys it? What if it sits on that table for weeks waiting to spread its roots into some good earth and I had lead it on to a sense of false hope during those few fleeting moments that I held it in my hand and now that hope is crushed because I chose something “slightly better.” And what if the plant was just having a bad day? Last night was hard! What if we had some kind of bond, a plant-to-human connection that I tossed away so cavalierly simply because its’ leaves weren’t as large as the other plant’s leaves!

And as I stand there paralyzed with this sudden and completely nut-so guilt, I am struck even deeper by the horror that I have seriously gone over the edge and become the plant version of the crazy cat lady or the sculpturist who believes that the clay speaks to her.

And then it happens again at another store, this time over a lavender plant.

Ummm…. help.

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Cold Snap Gums Up the Works

As I type this, one third of my rooftop garden sits on the floor in my living room. A second third of the garden is cluttering up the hallway around our front door. “Come on in friendly visitor! But first brave this minefield of plants, soil, and containers.” The final third remains outside. They were either impossible to transport or cold hardy enough to stay outdoors during last night’s reported RISK OF FROST, dated June 5, 2007. In June. Five days into the month of June in the year 2007. Just days after sweating to the oldies with RISK OF BURNING UP while adding new plants to my community garden plot.

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Who loves climate change now?

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We constructed this tent system for the garbage can-grown tomatoes that could not be moved. We used a huge piece of canvas cloth and the existing tripod stakes in the containers as support. The tomatoes look fine but the tomatillo is not taking it well at all. I’ve left this insane structure in place since it is still very cold and windy out there. The rooftop deck is exposed on three sides so the wind is a lot more intense than on the ground.

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On a positive note I ate my first peas of the season this morning and ‘Whipper Snapper’ (aka ‘Whippersnapper’) is still going strong having begun making itty bitty tomatoes sometime around last Friday. At this rate, and if the real June ever decides to return, we should have our first tomatoes before July 1.

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Risk of Frost

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Can you believe this? RISK OF FROST. It is June 5!! We are well past the safe date in this region!

And as an aside, ahem, can you believe my awesomely instructive and informative graphic? Fades, arrows, highlights, and drop shadows. I had to reach deep into my USA Today brand pool of design tricks to create this little number. Carrying on.

I was out on the rooftop deck this morning giving the plants a once-over as usual when I looked to the east and saw an ominous view.

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The wind was whipping at incredibly high speeds, the air was very cold, and the sky threatened nucleur fallout. I high-tailed it inside and closed the windows in time to avoid a hardcore downpour. It was unrelenting. And yet in my naive, It’s practically summer nothing can stop us now! haze it did not occur to me that I should bring some of the tender plants indoors or provide even the smallest bit of protection for them against the high winds. By late afternoon it finally dawned on me that t-shirt weather had indeed left the building so-to-speak so I ran outside and began pulling sad and floppy plants indoors as quickly as possible.

There is no rhyme or reason to the damage. Some peppers are as sturdy and strong as ever, while others are floppy and sad. Some tomatoes have completely flattened out and others are just as healthy as can be. Just about all of my hardening-off cucumbers and gherkins are slowly wasting away.

Yet despite the possible plant carnage I may be facing tomorrow I found myself taking on an air of superiority thinking about how right I was to recommend cloches for basil and other tender annuals during my appearance on the Gil Deacon Show last month, the topic of which was incidently on Gardening with Climate Change.

And then I had to laugh at myself because people, once again I did not take my own advice.

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